Rock & Roll Farm |
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Wednesday! Apr 28 2004 // 2:40 pm // effortLast night I took the train home from Kalamazoo. Today I’m back to the old routine. Job-search, meal planning, home improvement and wondering what’s going to happen next. I have to admit that I did not want to get on that train. My host was generous and kind, and I wanted to ask him more about his life. I confessed this weekend to having a dream of being a personal assistant. And maybe a personal chef. Subsequently, I may be returning for another visit to JD soon to offer my services as a talented organizer of things. Visits like the one I had this weekend often make me a bit melancholy. Simple meals shared, wine opened, walks in the rain, books, music, fellowship - all this serves to make me wonder if I could mantain that life forever. But how do I get that life? Is it something internal I need to work on? Or is it something I’m not grasping about how the world works around me? Like there’s some trick out there to being happy, and I’m just choosing the wrong bottles of wine and nights to walk. This reflection is part of the larger redirection effort in which I’m currently involved. I think it boils down to the people with whom you choose to share meals and books and music and walks. I’ve been finding few people interested in these things, or at least who will admit it. The problem in my case is also that my close friends are few and scattered these days. My guys here have helped keep this feeling at bay, but sooner or later one gets to missing those not here. It’s complicated. Maybe I’ll think about it and write more later. semi-related: Over the past week or so I’ve had several eerily parallel conversations about poetry, and here are a few of the poets and poems… Larry Levis, Elegy for Whatever Had a Pattern in It
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